bed of scars

This piece is a raw and aggressive musical retelling of my college experience and the people I once had close friendships and relationships with, all ending in a different form of abuse or heartbreak. It is essentially a look back at those four years with heavy grief as opposed to pride and excitement for this next step in life. It channels four years of buried pain, not as a nostalgic farewell, but as a scream of grief and unresolved pain, exploring domestic abuse and sexual assault and the impact it has on future interpersonal relationships, and how imagery from such events can extend into day-to-day life, tying back to the very specific visual of imprints left in sheets. This reflection is posed as a conversation with my past self, my eighteen year old self, before any of this occurred. It is not only an act of storytelling, but an act of reclaiming voice, articulating what once felt inexpressible, using heavy and loud riffs paired with screamed vocals. By addressing my younger self, I attempt to bridge the gulf between who I was and who I’ve become—someone shaped not only by pain, but by survival. This piece does not seek resolution, but recognition.